Brother Crow – A Full Circle Moment

When I was on the West Coast recently visiting my daughter, I had a powerful experience that I know was a full-circle moment. I know there is a powerful message there for me, and I wait for it to be revealed in the fullness of time.

CrowbywaterYes, it involves another encounter with one of my closest Spirit Animal allies: Crow. You can find the story of my first encounter with crow here. Over the years, I have had more than one luminous, unusual encounter with the power of Crow Medicine. This month, I encountered Crow in the very same fashion as when I first walked past the crow that was lying dead in the gutter by the curb.

I threw my back out while visiting my daughter and needed to drive to Tacoma (the town I lived in when I was opened back up to the Voice of Spirit). The chiropractor that used to treat me when I was in the military still practices there, and is always happy to squeeze me in if needed. Now, I could have gone with my daughter and her boyfriend, but if I had, I doubt I would have had the experience I did.

I arrived in Tacoma early for my appointment, and there was a Starbuck’s across the street, so I went over to the store to get a coffee and something to snack on. I didn’t want to sit in the store because it was a wonderful day and I didn’t want to sit in the parking lot, either. I got in the car and drove slowly – I now realize I was following Spirit -until I came to a place behind a box store where there were some trees and some shade where I could eat my breakfast sandwich.

As I pulled up to park under the trees, I was shocked to see a crow lying in the parking lot. It had obviously been recently hit as the blood pooling underneath the creature was still bright red. I was overcome with a full-on sense of time wrapping back upon itself somehow, and knew this was NOT an accident. I finished my snack, then used the bag the sandwich came in to pick the bird up and put it in the ivy growing under the trees  where I was parked. I apologized to the bird that I could not do more in the moment. It was better than leaving the bird lying on the pavement in the sun.

As I drove away to the appointment, I felt as if I were in two times at once, pondering the odds that I would 1) be in Tacoma, 2) go to the chiropractor while I was there, and 3) find a dead crow that needed my help. Again.

If I hadn’t thrown my back out, I would not have needed to drive to Tacoma. If I hadn’t arrived so early, I wouldn’t have had time to kill. If I hadn’t been hungry, I wouldn’t have stopped at the store, I would have waited in the office. If it hadn’t been such a nice day, I would have eaten the meal in the store. The timing was perfect, and I did follow the subtle current of energy that was gently leading me.

To the crow that gave its life so I could receive my message, I give thanks. And I will do my best to hear it so that your sacrifice is not wasted.

Since our waking life can be worked in the same way or sleep dreams can, I will share what I learn when I work this experience with my dream Teacher next month. Until then, thank you, brother Crow, for your constant companionship on my spiritual journey.

All original material posted to this site is (c)2016 -, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.                                         ~David Richo

My Best Mother’s Day Gift Ever

It’s Mother’s Day, and children of all ages all around the world are giving their mothers gifts. When I stopped at the store today, the people in the floral department could barely keep up with demand, filling the buckets as quickly as they were emptied by sons and daughters buying flowers for their mothers.

BouquetSo, mothers, what is your favorite Mother’s Day gift? I’ll start. I went for a short walk with my adult daughter this morning. I noticed something different about how she moved. Her arms moved in opposition to her feet, and my heart  filled with joy. I received two gifts this Mother’s Day: I am with my daughter. I saw my child walk like everyone else.

Without going into the details of why this is so significant, just know that it is, and that it is the greatest gift a mother could ever receive, because it comes wrapped in hope for a bright, beautiful future for her. And isn’t that what all mothers wish for their children?

All original material posted to this site is (c) 2016-, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms…let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves. ~C. JoyBell C.

Ancient Tears Finally Shed

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I recently offered a Past Life workshop, and it got me thinking about a profound experience I had during a regression session I participated in as part of my in-residence training for certification as a Past Life Regressionist some years ago. I was astounded by the depth of the feelings that coursed through me as I was regressed, and I was both the man in that past life and my current female self at the same moment. My consciousness was bridging tens of thousands of years, and I had some unfinished business to attend to.

071018-neanderthals-02My study partner and I had prepared for the final exam: a live regression in front of the teacher and the other members of the class. I regressed him, and all went smoothly. “Piece of cake,” I thought. Then it was my turn on the table. I made myself comfortable, and my partner began the past life regression all the class members had practiced on each other for the week.

Following the soothing tones of his voice, I soon found myself in the middle of an intense experience I will remember for the rest of my life. The thing that surprised me was, while I was having the past life experience, my present-life physical body was actually involved as well.

I am a stocky, powerfully built man, and I am running full-out with a few other men I knew to be hunters of my tribe in pursuit of a large predator animal. It wasn’t until, as if from across time and space, I heard my partner ask me what I was pursuing.  Between the inhalations of my screaming lungs, I grunted out the word ‘tiger’. My present-day self was shocked. I am an ancient man pursuing a sabre-toothed tiger!

I am intensely focused on my target. Every time my regression partner tried to move me down the time track of this life (he just wanted to complete the assignment, poor guy), I seemed stuck in this moment of chasing down the tiger. I had the sense we had been in pursuit for many days, but now had come within striking distance of the animal and there was no way I was not going to finish the job. Not now.

Lying on the table in front of the other students and the instructor,  I was aware I was breathing as if I were actually running, but I could not slow my breathing down. My partner kept trying to move me forward. I kept chasing the tiger, unwilling to let go of the moment, but not yet understanding why.

Somehow, he managed to shift me a bit forward within the experience, to the point where we’d managed to kill the tiger, by saying,  “The tiger is dead. Now what is happening?”

I don’t remember whether I verbally responded, or whether I just had the understanding that I was the leader of this group of people, and the tiger had discovered that small children are easy, tasty prey. One of the children killed by the tiger was my son. I swore to hunt the hunter and kill it after this happened. I set out after the beast with two, maybe three, other hunters from the tribe.

We tracked the sabre tooth for days before we finally got the opportunity to kill the thing that had been decimating our numbers. I took the teeth and made them into a necklace I wore in memory of my son until I died.

As I remembered the reason why we were chasing the tiger, I had a powerful physical response in my current body again, only this time I began to weep. The sobs seemed to come from deep inside me, and again, I didn’t seem to have any control over them.

My poor regression partner probably wanted to kill me at this point. He’d just gotten the situation under control, and here I was again, making his final exam difficult. It took him a couple of tries, but once more, he was able to move me out of that place of – what I understood as I wept the unshed tears from millennia before – deep grief and unexpressed sorrow.

As leader of the tribe, to display sadness was to show weakness. The leader could be challenged at the barest hint of indecision. I could not give myself the chance to grieve the loss of my only son, and  killing the tiger – though it brought some measure of satisfaction – did not clear the sadness from the cells of my body, nor from the essence of my soul.

Unknowingly, I carried those unshed tears across time until, finally and unexpectedly, I was given the chance to express them.

The regression was a powerful experience that demonstrated to me the truth that we can run, or even reincarnate, but we cannot escape our past. The intense, important things we experience must be expressed, or we will carry them in our energy field until we do, no matter how long it takes, even if it is lifetimes.

There is powerful healing available for those who seek it. Past life regression is one of the ways we can find peace, even when we are not looking for it.

neandertalmaleAll original material posted to this site is (c) 2016- Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.                                                                                                     ~Marcel Proust

A Time of Resurrection and Renewal

Photo of green leafy plant

Finally! The days are longer, and I begin to wake from my winter hibernation. The sap is flowing in the trees, there is early morning birdsong as my alarm, and my energy levels are starting to come up again. No more running on empty – at least for the next 7 months or so.

The world makes resolutions on New Year’s Eve, and by the end of January, most of us are back to our old habits or patterns. Working to make changes during a time of hibernation can be extremely difficult, at least for me. I exercise patience. I wait for a time when the energy is on my side. I don’t fight the inertia of hibernation I experience during the deep of Winter – which is a time of slumber for the entire planet anyway.

Resurrection means coming back to life, coming back into practice or use, revival; and renewal means a state of being made new.

The Equinox is just passed. During this weekend of balanced energies, I attuned six people to Reiki Master in a weekend intensive format. These people felt called to bring to life – or back to life – their connection to healing energies.

As I worked with this group, I contemplated what I wanted to resurrect in my life this Spring. I renewed my commitment to certain personal goals I set for myself this year.

I am aware of my human failings. Some things take me more than one attempt. It took me over 8 years and six attempts to quit smoking. I tried more than one method, including hypnosis (didn’t work for me), cold turkey (worked, but I started back up again). It was the worst mistake I ever made because it took me an additional 5 years to (finally) quit. It was  tapering the number of cigarettes per day with the addition of a tobacco substitute to take the edge off the craving that finally allowed me to free myself of the chains of that addiction.

I did a lot of behavior changes before I took that final step. I quit smoking after eating. I stopped lighting up every time the phone rang. I separated the act of smoking from every other activity I did, and made it extra-tough to light up by putting the cigarettes, lighter and ash tray in a room far away from the main part of the house. If I wanted to smoke, I could only smoke. Smoking lost its grip on my life one butt at a time. I am an addict. I know that now.

I owe an eternal debt of gratitude to my herbalist friend Denise in Washington State for her smoking mixture that has no tobacco in it. (www.MountainSpiritHerbals.com for those who may be interested.) She has wonderful personal care products that are chemical free (I adore her Lizard Cream, especially in winter), and a nice selection of loose herbs. This wise woman is a cornucopia of herbal knowledge. I used Shaman’s Blend to wean myself off cigarettes after I cut the cigarettes down to less than 6 per day. The Shaman’s Blend has valerian and chamomile in it, which helped calm my craving for nicotine.

This year, I am renewing my promise to myself to clear out anything that no longer serves me. I sold all my acrylic paints. (I figured out why I had them in the first place, and now no longer need them. I can express my artistic side with pencils and pastels, as I have been doing for decades.) I have donated household items twice, and there will be another large donation after the moving sale that is coming soon.

I am looking at all the objects in my world and am asking if there is value in it for me. Does this thing  contribute to my life or does it drain life force from me? The biggest challenges are with items that have sentimental value for me.  I still have some work to do, but I am renewing my commitment to do this work so I can make room for whatever it is Spirit desires to bring my way.

What are you going to resurrect in your life? Perhaps there are some New Year’s resolutions you’ve already given up on. Now is an excellent time to plant seeds of success for yourself. It is, after all, Spring, the perfect time to plant  what you would like to see harvested come Fall.

Do you want to explore your connection with Spirit? Develop your intuitive connection? Learn how to paint a picture? How about personal training to improve your physical health? Yoga? Martial arts? Meditation? What will you renew your commitment to for your personal growth and development? Do you have something you used to do that you  let fall by the wayside? This is the time to contemplate renewing that practice .

Take some time to find something, just one thing, you can renew a commitment to. Then take the actions needed to plant that garden of positive change. It’s Spring. The Light is with us. Now is the time.

Starting a new way is never easy, so keep starting until the start sticks. ~Tim Fargo

All original material posted to this site is (c)2016-, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

 

Spring Flowers

(c) 2012, Julia Marie

We say that flowers return every Spring, but that is a lie. It is true that the world is renewed. It is also true that that renewal comes at a price, for even if the flower grows from an ancient vine, the flowers of Spring are themselves new to the world, untried and untested.

cropped-photo127.jpgThe flower that wilted last year is gone. Petals once fallen are fallen forever. Flowers do not return in the Spring, rather they are replaced. It is in this difference between returned and replaced that the price of renewal is paid.

cropped-photo120.jpgAnd as it is for Spring flowers, so it is for us.

~Daniel Abraham

Photos (c) 2012-, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

 

 

Musings on Projection

projector2The projective style of dream work has opened a whole new level of perspective for me. The primary tool is projection.  The dictionary defines projection as:the attribution of one’s own ideas, feelings or attitudes to other people or objects; esp the externalization of blame, guilt or responsibility as a defense against anxiety.

We are all uniquely blind to our own shortcomings, but are easily able to spot others’ deficiencies. Lately, I have been paying more attention to how I respond to others, and the thoughts I have about them. I know that this is an elegant way for me to quickly identify where in my psyche I still have work to do.

Try this the next time someone irritates you or disappoints you or upsets you, or betrays you. Ask yourself where in my life am I (irritating, disappointing, upsetting, or betraying) myself? It is not as easy a task as it seems. It requires unstinting honesty.

I also need to say that it is not only about the negative things we perceive in others. More importantly, it is often the positive things we perceive in others that we need to see in ourselves. (This is called the Bright Shadow).

Becoming more aware of the thoughts we have about people helps us become more aware of how we perceive ourselves. We don’t have to have someone else tell us, we just have to pay attention to where our mind goes while we are in relationship with those in our world.

Sometimes, I don’t like what I find, but it gives me something I can focus my conscious attention on, and begin to transmute. Intellectually I understand it is all part of the Hero’s Journey,(the part where we slay the dragon) but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The progress of my work with myself  manifests in the dreams I remember. It still fascinates me how consistently relevant these nightly messages from my highest wisdom source are. These gentle ‘report cards’ give me hope and encouragement as I continue my personal journey towards wholeness. I do this work with the awareness that as I do the work for myself, I do the work also for the collective. It is, after all, how we will heal the world’s collective wounds.

Have courage. Open your heart, and listen to what your dreams tell you. ~Paolo Coelho

All original material posted to this site is (c) 2016-, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.