An Early Lesson
The learning curve was pretty steep for me in the beginning, and I did worry a lot about how I was going to manage my ‘new’ life. I kept encountering the same situation over and over again, and since this was before I understood that a repeating pattern is one of the ways we learn and grow on this path, I didn’t perceive the significance of it.
I stubbed my toes a lot more in the early years. I really wanted to figure it all out, to put this spiritual path stuff in a nice, neat package and run with it. I was barely awake, and definitely not even close to being aware of how things actually worked. And please note here, I have learned enough in the last two decades to grasp that I don’t know even the smallest corner of what there is to be learned about being functional as Soul in all of my dimensions of consciousness. I don’t try to figure it out any more. I just do the best I can within the limitations of my human understanding. Sometimes I do better than other times. Guess that’s why they are called “lessons”.
During this early period, I met and began to do healing work on an elderly woman with the most beautiful cornflower blue eyes. I didn’t have a clue that it was healing work then, it just so happened that when I got around her, my hands would get hot and sometimes my whole body would heat up. Towards the end of her life, while she was still in her home but before the last few weeks in a nursing home, I would drive about 40 miles round trip to spend time with her and to run energy. According to her, it made her feel better. I didn’t really have the funds to spare to be doing this, but it felt like the right thing to be doing, so I did. At the end of each visit, she would offer me a little monetary gift. Each time, I would refuse. I had the idea then that if I took the money, I would somehow lose the gifts I felt God had given me.
One day, when we were finishing up, she fixed those blue eyes on me, and there was a fierce determination in them I’d not seen before. She reached into her purse, and pulled out her intended gift. Her eyes told me she was going to win this one. As she extended her hand, I pulled back. The very quick exchange that followed went something like this:
“This is for you.”
“No, you keep it. I don’t want to lose my spiritual gifts by taking money for them.”
“But I want you to have it.”
“No, I can’t take your money.”
“Honey, how do you think God works, anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it was put upon my heart to give this to you. Where do you think that came from? If you keep refusing me, then aren’t you really saying ‘No’ to God?”
That last bit did it. I accepted her gift, and thanked her. She then told me her story, and I understood that she had personal experience with the struggle many of us have around whether it is appropriate to accept monetary compensation for our spiritual work or not. I forgot to tell you: this wonderful woman was the first physical body teacher Spirit put on my path. She and her husband had established a small Spiritualist church near where I lived, and I had been inexplicably drawn in there one day. I kept going back, and that is how our relationship grew. She was not an ordinary ‘little old lady’. She was very spiritually aware, and through our interactions, I moved pretty quickly through some of my spiritual basic training. I will never forget that first, most important lesson:
Just say Thank You.
I was filled with gratitude this morning when I came to sit and write something for the weekend readers. I saw that sometime during the night, I passed the 2000 mark in views of my writings. I have no clue whether that is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on the length of time this blog has been up. I only know I was moved to just say thank you. You are coming to look, and some of you are coming back. I know this is God’s way of telling me I am on the right track with this.
I want to know God’s thoughts; the rest are details. ~Einstein
All original material posted to this site is copyright 2012, Julie Marie. All rights reserved.
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