This is a story about how we follow the promptings of our soul, our Spirit, whether we are consciously aware of it at the time or not. The good news is, we listen. The bad news is, a lot of times we don’t know we are paying attention to our higher guidance, which can lead to confusion sometimes.
When I was in my twenties, I was a single mother with a beautiful baby girl. The attempt at married life was brief, and the best thing that came out of it was my child. I had been thinking about going into the military off and on throughout my early years. I was the child of a career military man, and had brothers who went into the various services.
I went right back to work in the fields of California as soon as I could after having my baby. There is no health insurance with field work, so income stream restoration was of paramount importance to me. Yes, I could have applied for benefits, but I am of the old school, and would rather take care of myself as long as I am able to do so, and I was, so I did.
My life path changed the day she had her first seizure. After a week in the hospital, I realized that we would end up on the streets if I didn’t take some drastic steps. So I lost 65 pounds of ‘baby weight’ and went into the service. I did well for my family, and was even able to go back to college and finish my degree.
At the end of that first enlistment, the wisest thing for me to do, in my estimation, was to re-enlist. I did. The problems with my child were ongoing, and she was in and out of the hospital a lot. As my dependent, she received the care she needed, and for that I was very grateful.
Sometime in my second term, I began to feel an unidentifiable restlessness, almost as if something were out of place. I felt out of sorts all of the time. It was an undercurrent of energy that I was not conscious enough to even recognize at the time. I began having the thought that I needed to be of higher service, somehow.
I tortured myself by seeking another degree, which I managed to attain. It cost a lot in time, energy, and effort. In retrospect, I can see that the restlessness was about feeling that I wasn’t headed in the right direction, but I didn’t have the awareness to know I could ask for guidance to show me the way. That came later, much later.
I had always had the inner urge to SERVE, to be OF SERVICE, got it? How my brain interpreted that was absolutely a function of the level of consciousness I had at the time. When I first joined the military, I was following the promptings of my soul to serve. After some time had passed, and the restlessness started, I re-interpreted that message as feeling called to higher service. I translated that to mean: higher education so I could really help people.
I put myself through one of the most brutal educational experiences a person can choose for themselves. I felt driven to finish this so I could get on with the serving, with the following of my calling. (Or rather what I thought was my calling.)
When all of the changes happened, I was rattled, and very confused. How can I fulfill my purpose if I am unable to physically handle the work? At this time, I was not able to sit up for very long without extreme pain.
I spent a lot of time learning to follow my inner guidance. I would say that as far as how I work with Spirit, well, I am self-taught for the most part. I have been saying ‘Yes’ to my Soul since before my awakening. I just didn’t quite understand how that ‘yes’ was supposed to look.
Even after years of following Spirit, I still wasn’t exactly on point. One of the first messages I received from my unseen Teachers was:
You are here to facilitate the growth of many on this planet at this time. It is by information passed from us, through you, to them, that such facilitation shall take place. You will write many books.
Well, I certainly have not been following that so well. So even after I was awake, and could understand what it is my soul would have me do, I still did not come into alignment with that higher purpose. Then this blog was started. And I am on my way now to realizing my soul’s dream for this incarnation.
I can feel that I am moving closer to the goal my Soul has set for this lifetime. I said all of that to tell you this: Relax.
If it is your heart’s desire to serve others, you will, whether you consciously realize that or not. Keep striving. Keep moving forward, whether you understand or not. You will achieve your purpose for being here.
The path you take is made by walking it.
All original material posted to this site is copyright 2012, Julie Marie. All rights reserved.