From My Place On the Wheel
I have been working to understand something recently. I spend most of my waking life contemplating the situations I find myself in, and the people who are diligently playing their parts so that I may expand into a state of pure Awareness that is unshakable.
I am not there yet, not by a long shot, but I am sincerely working towards that goal. This weekend gave me a couple of opportunities to put my pondering cap on. Some parts of these things I am still processing, but I feel I have had an insight around one in particular.
The question of the day for me has been: When does a comment become a judgment?
People seem to throw that ‘J’ word around a lot these days, talking about how we shouldn’t judge each other. But what, really, are they talking about, and do they even know the difference?
I had an encounter this past weekend where I made a comment, then an observation, about something, and the lightning-fast response was (complete with a finger pointed in my direction, I might add) “Judgment!”
“No,” I replied, “that was an observation.”
“Whatever you say,” (or words to that effect) as the person turned on their heel and strode away.
Me: standing there confused. Feeling, well, judged,by the person I’d made the comment to. Yet if you had asked me to tell you in that moment WHY I felt that way, I would not have been able to identify it for you.
I had a wonderful long drive home, which gave me ample time to contemplate. Driving is often a mindless activity, and I will confess to going on autopilot more than usual when on those long, deserted stretches of interstate.
When I arrived home, I went to two of my favorite teaching tools to do some research: the dictionary and the thesaurus. What I discovered there – which frankly surprised me – was that there are basically two levels of meaning for the word ‘judgment’.
The first definitions for the word were all about forming an opinion of something, usually after due consideration. Also, “to determine or declare after deliberation.” Feeling, or impression also fell into this category.
Some of the other definitions for the word had a totally different connotation, and energetic feel, to them. Condemnation, or to pass sentence on, or assumption, presumption, or conclusion.
So, when does a comment become a judgment?
A comment becomes a judgment when there is the energy behind it that, especially when sent through a pointed finger, stabs at your energy field. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, it will impact your energy.
It will usually be delivered with great speed, by someone who does not know you, or at least does not know you very well.
I made my statement from a place of having observed the situation in question for years, on many occasions. The response came so quickly, there was no time for reflection or deliberation. It came from a place of presumption, maybe, or assumption, perhaps.
The other person was someone who does not have a clue about how hard I work every day to transcend my human frailties. I am constantly, earnestly, laboring to understand those layers beneath the surface; to discern where the Truth of Who I AM resides, and to bring that forward in Service as much as possible.
I am the first to admit that some days I do better than other days.
I had come to the place of concluding that it is actually the energy behind the words, the intention, that tips the scale towards ‘judgmental’ when I came across this quote as I prepared to write this piece:
Making a clear observation about a situation is NOT negative or judgmental. It is only an observation. ~ St. Germain
All original material posted to this site is (c) 2012, Julie Marie. All rights reserved.
- Judge You (annamanderson.wordpress.com)