“It’s All About You”
I tell people constantly that life is the lesson. I have certainly had my share of opportunities to learn and grow in the past week or so. Now I am hearing, and seeing in my mind’s eye, Sir Elton John performing I’m Still Standing.
Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did,
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time; Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind…I’m still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah…
I recently had a difficult exchange with someone. The last communication ended with the parting shot: “It’s all about you.” The intention and energy behind the statement was not positive, but I had reached the necessary place of detachment to be able to see there was something I could learn from those words.
The person who expressed those words was absolutely correct. It WAS all about me. My experience of the situation was my perception of the situation. Their experience of the same situation was a product of their sensitivities. I will grant that when our core issues get triggered, it is more difficult to recognize a blessing in a set of circumstances. When that happens, it means there is an opportunity being presented to heal something that needs restoration.
There was a part of me that wanted to return fire with the same intensity that was sent in my direction, but I am trying to be a better person than my lower nature allows from time to time. Some days are better than others.
Despite the shortcomings of the written word, I answered in kind because I didn’t have any other option. There is a level of human communication that is not achieved with any form of electronic exchange, and I had the sense it would probably be the last time I engaged with this person. My heart wept at the prospect. Free will choice is a powerful thing. I will honor that.
I said what I felt in my heart was most important to say. I felt it was likely I would be misunderstood or not heard at all, but at least I had to try. It was all about me. I cannot crawl inside another person’s consciousness and be them. When certain things happen however, I can see pretty clearly what is hidden in the dark corners we all have.
I weep for the pain that lies within, but I am not the genesis of it. Nor do I deserve being the target for it. I, like all of us, have enough pain to deal with. My pain is all about me, just as your pain is all about you.
I celebrate the joy another can feel, but I am not the genesis of it. I will stand closer to you so that I may experience the overflow from it, because that uplifts me. I, like most of us, do not experience enough joy in my life, but I try every day to find joy in the small things. My joy is all about me. I will gladly share it with you. Your experience of that will be all about you.
Do I need for another to understand me always? I used to think that was important, and sometimes it is useful to carefully explain one’s point of view to another; but occasionally it’s not worth the trouble because there is no opening through which the words, and the energy that goes with them, can squeeze. That is the time to surrender to what is, and accept it.
I discovered that I had no desire to explain myself or to defend myself. I did not feel the need to do either. In the same way that I have lost my craving for chocolate candy and other sweets, I have begun to lose my craving for resolution. I’m interested to see how long this state of consciousness can sustain itself. I will be watching, be certain of that. It is all about me, after all.
Who can separate himself from his sorrows and solitude without suffering in his heart? ~Kahlil Gibran
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