Sometimes it takes me awhile to get it. This most recent series of ‘lessons’ is a particular case in point. A couple of months ago, I got notice that it’s time to move again. This time, however, the notice didn’t come from Spirit, it came from the landlady.
I’m usually the one who makes the decision, and move only after I’ve found the new location. This time was different, because although I’d had the sense I was going to be shifting out of this area sometime in the Spring, I really didn’t feel like doing that whole dance. I was feeling the effects of having been operating in overdrive for months, and just wanted to take a few extra months to rest and recover before I took on the task of moving.
I guess it needed to happen sooner instead of later. The decision was taken out of my hands, which I took as a message from Spirit that indeed I would be relocating, and that there was a timing component to the process because the ‘when’ of this move was determined by someone other than myself.
It took me a few weeks to realize that I was experiencing a stress level with this move that was different from all the other times. It was pretty high. Since I didn’t have any idea where I was headed, only that I was definitely moving by a certain date, I began to pray for guidance. My logical mind took me to locations as far afield as Minnesota and Montana, Colorado and even to the beautiful Oregon coast.
I spent hours seeking, searching, and came up empty. Nothing was flowing. Either there was nothing that suited my needs available or the location wouldn’t work for me. I started to get nervous. What happens if I can’t find a place to live before the looming deadline?
I observed that the stress I was beginning to experience was shutting down my ability to listen and follow the guidance Spirit was trying to give me. I also was very aware that my little self, my ego, had a death grip on the steering wheel.The more I concentrated on finding my new place, the less results I was having. The stress kept increasing and I finally reached a point where I had no idea at all what I was going to do or where I would end up.
I had to take a step back because I recognized that I was only making things worse. I knew I was way off-track when I found myself contemplating living in a seniors-only apartment complex!
After a couple of days focusing on what I knew for sure – that I was moving and that I was moving in a northerly direction – I had the feeling to try one more time. I had occupied myself with packing boxes and preparing for a garage sale before the move because those were the things I knew I could do regardless of whether or not I knew where I was headed. Taking some preparatory action calmed my energy down enough that I believe I could hear what Spirit was trying to communicate to me.
I don’t know how I found the location, but I spent some time looking at maps of different states in a contemplative way, gaze unfocused, and waited for something to light up. Eventually, something did, and that is where I focused my efforts, my search.
You do not need to work to become spiritual. You are spiritual; you need only to remember that fact. Spirit is within you. God is within you. ~Julia Cameron
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