Letters from Camp #4

beamsinfogNever Too Late to Start

I prayed about whether I was being guided to commit to a training program that most likely would take years to complete. After all, I’m not feeling too much like a Spring chicken these days. Bones creak. I grunt when I get out of the car after driving for a few hours, and it takes me a few steps to loosen back up.

But I am feeling strongly impressed to start walking down this road, and being one who knows that Spirit – my Spirit Guides in particular – understand better than my little personality-Self what is for my highest and greatest good. With a heavy sigh, I make arrangements to attend my first week-long Seminary.

The sigh is not for the information I may glean from the classes, it is for the time and effort it will take to get ready for the trip: the planning, the packing, the loading, the driving, the unloading, the change in time zones, the sleep pattern disruptions…It is really going to take me out of my routine, and so – though I won’t like it very much – it is probably about time for a little routine-disrupting. I learned a few decades ago that the more I can vary my routine, the less likely I am to fall into the density of the consensus reality most people live in.

This time around, I give myself ample time to properly prepare, and this relieves a lot of the stress I sometimes feel when getting ready for a road trip. Fast forward to the week of classes. I am sitting in a class, and somehow the conversation turns to learning, and how when we commit to mediumship, we are best served by continuing to study to improve our knowledge through education and training whenever possible. The message was: there is always more to learn.

An older man is sitting in the class. I notice him because he obviously has more miles on his physical vehicle than I do. He listens intently, and makes the comment that sometimes he wonders if his continued efforts even matter due to his advanced age. The teacher responds by saying that someone once told her that they continue to study not for advancement in THIS life, but in preparation for the NEXT one.

Though this comment was directed at him, it resonated deeply with me, as well. I know now that I will never be too old to be learning about Spirit and the things of Spirit. It is NOT in vain, because it is not for this life,but rather the next, for indeed my Soul is eternal even though this body may not be. Thank you, dear man, for asking that question. I very much needed to hear that message, too. And isn’t that how Spirit works after all? We will all get what we need, even when we don’t know we need it!

Always listen to your heart. The wisdom of your heart is the connection to your authentic power – the true home of your Spirit.                                                                ~Angie Karan

All original material posted to this site is (c) 2016 – Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

Letters from Camp #3

Solomon and Charlie – Questions Answered

When I left Camp Chesterfield in July, I was excited about my experiences. Though I wondered about the mysterious appearance of Solomon and the repeated ‘Charlie’ messages, I knew eventually the answer would come, because I fervently wanted to understand.

I participated in the Spirit Fest in September, and when I attended the Message Service that weekend, ‘Charlie’ came up again. Though the message was not directed at me, the name ‘Charlie’ was repeated to another person in the building, and the person delivering the message said ‘there were three Charlies’ here. I got the message. Charlie was still trying to make himself known to me. I mentally acknowledged that I’d ‘heard’ the message, but still didn’t understand. I thanked Charlie for being so patient with me, for being so willing to keep trying.

I returned to Camp in October for my first Seminary week. Classes, notebooks, and lots of walking from one class to another. (The exercise was a welcome change. It helped me to realize how much my body has been missing movement. I just haven’t had much energy these days, but that is another story.)

solomoncolordrawingWhile I was there, I had a reading from one of the mediums, and left with a greater understanding about who this Solomon was, and why he had shown up so suddenly. I’d experienced a palpable physical response in my body that could not be dismissed, and had the feeling that his appearance was an important part of my next step on my spiritual journey.  I have felt for months now that I am in the midst of what can only be called another initiation. (It feels like a rite of passage, and I am at the time in my life where that makes some sense. ‘Initiation’ means ‘to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.’) The reading confirmed what I’d felt: that Solomon was only in my life and my energy field for a specific purpose, a certain time, to lend assistance to my Guide Team and to support my transition into this next phase of my life. I am grateful for, and humbled by, his willingness to lend his energy to my mission.

In this same reading, the mystery of Charlie was also (finally) solved. First, I have to take a moment to go back to when my re-awakening happened almost 30 years ago. As I sat in my living room confused, scared, and at my wit’s end as to what was happening to me and to my carefully scripted out life, I became aware of this short-statured, gnome-like person who would appear and make faces at me, or would roll around the living room trying to make me laugh. He would show up on the front of my car pretending to be a hood ornament and pose in outrageous ways just to get me to smile.

charliedrawing3I was very serious those first years, and had no one to talk to about what was happening to me. I only had Spirit to trust, to talk to. When I finally had the thought to ask this being why he kept showing up, his response was quick, short and clear: ‘Lighten UP!’ he said, and with the words came the impression that by my taking things so seriously, I was keeping my vibration from shifting in the direction it needed to. Oh. I get it. After this, whenever he showed up, I knew it was a reminder for me to not take things so to heart that I allowed my vibration to slow too much.

Fast forward to this year, and the repeated message in the form of the name ‘Charlie’. The image that appeared just after Solomon made his presence known to me in that meditation in July turns out to be of one of my inner circle of guides: Charlie. He is the one who has spent so much time and energy helping me keep my (energetic) chin up, especially when the going gets tough. He’s also one my Gatekeeper. So, though he has this lighter side, he is also in charge of an important part of this work: keeping me safe. So, to anyone on the other side: if you want to get through the velvet rope, you have to convince Charlie of your suitability! And watch out for his shillelagh!

The most important thing I learned this trip is that it really is true: I am, we are, never alone. We come into this incarnation with our own private entourage, posse, group of guides, companions, call them what you are most comfortable with. The critical thing is to learn to recognize their presence and learn to work with them to help you. The single best practice you can adopt is to call on your guides to help you! They stand, waiting and listening, for us.

We all have a better guide in ourselves if we would attend to it, than any other person.   ~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

All original material posted to this site is (c) 2016, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

Innocence Lost – 15 Years Later

Never Forget. Photographer unknown.

Never Forget. Photographer unknown.

Yesterday the sky was a beautiful blue, just like that day a decade and a half now passed. It was a perfect early September day. The temperature was comfortable, and the morning air had a hint of the approaching Fall crispness about it.

A major difference was that yesterday, when I looked up to admire that clear, crystalline blue sky, I saw contrails of planes flying above me. There was a day not so long ago that the sky was empty, and our nation was in shock.

The miracle that happened from that collective experience was that we came together in our common grief and pain. We must not allow this sacrifice to be forgotten. Today, I stop a moment to honor the over 3,000 souls that rose into a beautiful September sky. I will not forget.

There are memories that time does not erase…Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable. ~Cassandra Clare

All original material posted to this site is (c)2016- Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

Ancient Tears Finally Shed

Image

I recently offered a Past Life workshop, and it got me thinking about a profound experience I had during a regression session I participated in as part of my in-residence training for certification as a Past Life Regressionist some years ago. I was astounded by the depth of the feelings that coursed through me as I was regressed, and I was both the man in that past life and my current female self at the same moment. My consciousness was bridging tens of thousands of years, and I had some unfinished business to attend to.

071018-neanderthals-02My study partner and I had prepared for the final exam: a live regression in front of the teacher and the other members of the class. I regressed him, and all went smoothly. “Piece of cake,” I thought. Then it was my turn on the table. I made myself comfortable, and my partner began the past life regression all the class members had practiced on each other for the week.

Following the soothing tones of his voice, I soon found myself in the middle of an intense experience I will remember for the rest of my life. The thing that surprised me was, while I was having the past life experience, my present-life physical body was actually involved as well.

I am a stocky, powerfully built man, and I am running full-out with a few other men I knew to be hunters of my tribe in pursuit of a large predator animal. It wasn’t until, as if from across time and space, I heard my partner ask me what I was pursuing.  Between the inhalations of my screaming lungs, I grunted out the word ‘tiger’. My present-day self was shocked. I am an ancient man pursuing a sabre-toothed tiger!

I am intensely focused on my target. Every time my regression partner tried to move me down the time track of this life (he just wanted to complete the assignment, poor guy), I seemed stuck in this moment of chasing down the tiger. I had the sense we had been in pursuit for many days, but now had come within striking distance of the animal and there was no way I was not going to finish the job. Not now.

Lying on the table in front of the other students and the instructor,  I was aware I was breathing as if I were actually running, but I could not slow my breathing down. My partner kept trying to move me forward. I kept chasing the tiger, unwilling to let go of the moment, but not yet understanding why.

Somehow, he managed to shift me a bit forward within the experience, to the point where we’d managed to kill the tiger, by saying,  “The tiger is dead. Now what is happening?”

I don’t remember whether I verbally responded, or whether I just had the understanding that I was the leader of this group of people, and the tiger had discovered that small children are easy, tasty prey. One of the children killed by the tiger was my son. I swore to hunt the hunter and kill it after this happened. I set out after the beast with two, maybe three, other hunters from the tribe.

We tracked the sabre tooth for days before we finally got the opportunity to kill the thing that had been decimating our numbers. I took the teeth and made them into a necklace I wore in memory of my son until I died.

As I remembered the reason why we were chasing the tiger, I had a powerful physical response in my current body again, only this time I began to weep. The sobs seemed to come from deep inside me, and again, I didn’t seem to have any control over them.

My poor regression partner probably wanted to kill me at this point. He’d just gotten the situation under control, and here I was again, making his final exam difficult. It took him a couple of tries, but once more, he was able to move me out of that place of – what I understood as I wept the unshed tears from millennia before – deep grief and unexpressed sorrow.

As leader of the tribe, to display sadness was to show weakness. The leader could be challenged at the barest hint of indecision. I could not give myself the chance to grieve the loss of my only son, and  killing the tiger – though it brought some measure of satisfaction – did not clear the sadness from the cells of my body, nor from the essence of my soul.

Unknowingly, I carried those unshed tears across time until, finally and unexpectedly, I was given the chance to express them.

The regression was a powerful experience that demonstrated to me the truth that we can run, or even reincarnate, but we cannot escape our past. The intense, important things we experience must be expressed, or we will carry them in our energy field until we do, no matter how long it takes, even if it is lifetimes.

There is powerful healing available for those who seek it. Past life regression is one of the ways we can find peace, even when we are not looking for it.

neandertalmaleAll original material posted to this site is (c) 2016- Julia Marie. All rights reserved.

The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.                                                                                                     ~Marcel Proust

Musings on Projection

projector2The projective style of dream work has opened a whole new level of perspective for me. The primary tool is projection.  The dictionary defines projection as:the attribution of one’s own ideas, feelings or attitudes to other people or objects; esp the externalization of blame, guilt or responsibility as a defense against anxiety.

We are all uniquely blind to our own shortcomings, but are easily able to spot others’ deficiencies. Lately, I have been paying more attention to how I respond to others, and the thoughts I have about them. I know that this is an elegant way for me to quickly identify where in my psyche I still have work to do.

Try this the next time someone irritates you or disappoints you or upsets you, or betrays you. Ask yourself where in my life am I (irritating, disappointing, upsetting, or betraying) myself? It is not as easy a task as it seems. It requires unstinting honesty.

I also need to say that it is not only about the negative things we perceive in others. More importantly, it is often the positive things we perceive in others that we need to see in ourselves. (This is called the Bright Shadow).

Becoming more aware of the thoughts we have about people helps us become more aware of how we perceive ourselves. We don’t have to have someone else tell us, we just have to pay attention to where our mind goes while we are in relationship with those in our world.

Sometimes, I don’t like what I find, but it gives me something I can focus my conscious attention on, and begin to transmute. Intellectually I understand it is all part of the Hero’s Journey,(the part where we slay the dragon) but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The progress of my work with myself  manifests in the dreams I remember. It still fascinates me how consistently relevant these nightly messages from my highest wisdom source are. These gentle ‘report cards’ give me hope and encouragement as I continue my personal journey towards wholeness. I do this work with the awareness that as I do the work for myself, I do the work also for the collective. It is, after all, how we will heal the world’s collective wounds.

Have courage. Open your heart, and listen to what your dreams tell you. ~Paolo Coelho

All original material posted to this site is (c) 2016-, Julia Marie. All rights reserved.